General musings on the ups and downs and ins and outs in the life of a 30 something, unmarried, life loving, some times interesting and sometimes not, mostly happy girl just trying to figure it all out!

Monday, January 30, 2012

This is How You Know

Niki and I comment regularly on how people just don't GET it. It seems like there are very few other women out there who have as great of a friend as we have in each other (or at least I have in her). I hear people call someone their "best friend" and then tell stories that make me put my head in my hands... people, she just may not be your best friend!

At least once a day I make a comment along the lines of, "You know it's your best friend when..." So I have compiled this list for all of you to reference. If these aren't true, you need a new best friend.

You know she's your best friend when...

... You move into your new apartment sight unseen because she picked it out. You have no qualms about this.
... If you don't talk to her for two days, you're pretty sure it's really been two weeks. Also, you both start telling each other stories you already know because of this, some of which you were actually present for. I think this may be called separation anxiety.
... You do each others grocery shopping.
... You don't even like babies until she gets pregnant. You are instantly obsessed and begin purchasing all the Auntie paraphernalia you can find.
... People automatically assume you're lovers, not just friends, because of the way your lives are so intertwined.
... You steal a banana from her house only to drive it around all day in your car and return it to her house.
... When her husband proposes to her he informs you not to worry, he knows you are a package deal.
... Your other friends assume you actually live with her and her family.
... When she's tired of telling her kids the same thing over and over, you automatically pick up the line so she can have a break.
... She lets you put her kids in time out.
... She lets you steal her children when you want to and has no problems with you pretending they are your own.
... Your dog isn't even sure if you live at her house or in your apartment.
... When your GPS breaks, she drives you into Houston because she knows you'll never make it by yourself.
... She is absolutely and completely opposed to mud, but she lets you create it in her back yard anyway.
... She holds your hand in church.
... You voluntarily change her children's poopy diaper. (This may also signify insanity)
... You have been together all day, but when separated you pick up the phone, call, and have a 41 minute conversation.
... "I talked to my mom," is all the explanation she needs in multiple situations.
... Her kids assume you are their third parent.
... You are really and truly obsessed with her, as she is with you.
... She knows what you are about to do in any given situation and stops you or urges you on before you begin doing anything.
... You have never, in 11 years, once complained about her to anyone (seriously).

There are hundreds more. I'll start keeping a running list for you. But really, I know what a best friend is and not many people really have one. So if you need to know whether to keep looking, just ask.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Don't do that at the Gym, People!!

True story: I hate working out.

There you go, done. End of story

OK, no, just kidding. But I do hate working out. I do it anyway, though, because I like to eat and drink wine and drink margaritas and have chocolate. So I work out. But some people just don't make it easy, you know? For example, last night I was at the gym in my apartment and it was just me and some guy on the elliptical. There I was, minding my own business on the treadmill, and I start hearing: "Uh, Uh, Uuuuh, Oooh, Oooh." And I'm not talking about to himself, either. I had headphones on and I could still hear him; loud and clear. Really, dude? REALLY? You are on the elliptical for goodness sake! It's the ELLIPTICAL! The no impact machine. How hard could it really be? And from there, he begins to loudly cheer on his football team. Buddy- if you are working out during the game it's not that important to you. You aren't in a bar or with your buddies or home alone. You are in a gym. I do not need to hear, "Get Him!" "Heel yes!" "What are you DOING??" or "You're a moron!" I just want to work out. If it was good football, I would be watching it.

I am completely annoyed by people in the gym sometimes. I've been a part of a large gym and now work out in my apartment complex's tiiiiny gym. So I have come up with a list of rules for either/or that I would appreciate anyone working out in my vicinity follow:

1. Do not stand next to/on equipment and chat with friends. It is perfectly acceptable to work out with a friend. Encouraged, even. But WORK OUT! Do not just stand there, leaning on equipment other people want to use and chat. If you want to stand around and talk go to a happy hour.

2. If you are a trainer and you have a client of the opposite sex, the treadmill and stair climber are not appropriate places for you to simulate the sex act under the guise of instruction.

3. Please don't bring your iPhone and blast offensive rap music (especially if you are an old, bald white guy. Come on!). Or any music. That is why they invented headphones.

4. No grunting, groaning or moaning. If it's that hard you shouldn't be doing it. Don't you see the warning posted about getting a doctor's approval?

5. WIPE DOWN YOUR EQUIPMENT. Enough said.

Now is this that hard? I don't think so. Just have some manners, people.

Friday, January 20, 2012

My Little Flashers

As an Auntie, you hope to make an impression on your nieces and nephews. You want so much to be a part of their lives and teach them things. You want to leave them with something.

Well, today I find I may have overdone things. Niki sent me a message this morning after letting the kids decorate their Mardi Gras trees for their rooms. She went to take their picture and asked for smiles and "cheeses." Instead she got this.


They pulled up their shirts and flashed her. Unprompted. I mean- check out Lorlelei. That is a straight up, "Throw Me something Mister!!" pose if I ever saw one. 

Niki and Jade are pretty low key. And Niki would never in her life flash anyone (except maybe Jade on occasion) for beads. There is no way they learned this from their parents. And so, it makes me wonder... Am I really just the Auntie? Or are they actually MY children???

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Seriously the best idea ever!!


Christina from the blog HungryMeetsHealthy is having a V-day swap for her blog readers. Umm... GENIUS! Check it out on her blog- you send in your email address, name, address, blog link if you have it and answer a few questions. Then she randomly matches you up with another reader and you get a Valentine's Day package from someone you have (probably) never met. How fun is that? Do it now!!

And PS, her blog is based in Charleston- but she's hilarious. I appreciate her for her fitness while loving food and wine! And she brings snacks in her purse to bars. Also genius. 

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

You do not have a career. You have a life.

Well, ain't that the truth?? But ain't it also impossible to remember? It is for me sometimes. I move to Texas to have a life, a great life! I got a job, and it was (is) a good job, but I knew I wanted it to just be a job. And it has been, and I've enjoyed it and my life here so much. Until this month... then it started slipping away. Because I started thinking about this job and how if I just worked harder and longer and did more so many more things would happen for the company. And I started thinking about how I had stopped wanting a big career because I wanted a life, but where the hell was that life I dream of? Did I give up an awesome career for a life I'm not going to have? Oh gracious...and this went on and on.

But you know what? I DO have a life. I have a great life surrounded by people who love me. And I do still want my goal to be to nurture and grow that life. Because when I die, I can't take my career with me. But I can take pieces of my life- I can take love and friendship and hope. Because those things last.

I read an advice column post from therumpus.net today (never heard of that before) that I found on this blog. And this was the main part that jumped out at me:

Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. 

How much truth is in that statement! Do your best and then be true to life and yourself and have faith.

Amazing.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Get Up and Go -aka- Kill the Funk

Sometimes, you just have to make yourself get up and go do something. Do you know what I mean? I was in a funk the majority of last week for no apparent reason. I mean, there were a few little reasons. But nothing really work funkiness. This happens to everyone sometimes- but when you're single and solo it's different. Maybe not harder, but certainly different. Because you don't have your kids or a husband to distract you and pull you out of it. And you can go and have a great time, but you end up going home by yourself (or in my case, with a fuzzy Golden Retriever who just so happened to be in a funk of her own. Go figure.).

After a week of funkiness, Saturday rolled around. It was BEAUTIFUL outside. A real Southern winter day with a high of 70, blue skies, and the slightest breeze. Perfection. But me, I was in a funk. I wanted to go somewhere, but I really didn't want to leave the apartment. But it was seriously the kind of beautiful out where I'm certain it's a sin if you don't enjoy it. So I threw on my jeans and boots (and a hat, because I was to funky to shower) and headed for the farm. Not my farm (part of said funk was due to a lack of my own, personal farm)- but a farm all the same. And guess what? It rocked!!

I hung out with my new friend Sally, chatted about the ups and downs of dating and also the fears the possibility of online dating, rode a horse, bathed a sheep (because what girl shouldn't bathe a sheep once in her life?) and ... wait for it... saw a new born calf! And not just saw it, but helped it stand for the first time. Truly and utterly miraculous. **Sorry for the fuzzy picture, but I was a bit unprepared for the miracle of life that day.

Now I am sorry, but I count anyone who sees a baby born and watches its innate responses and urges (in this case to stand after just minutes on earth and to nurse) and still doesn't believe in God as an idiot. And there is nothing like watching that miracle, and being a teeny part of it, to set you right. If God can send this little calf out into the world and equip it with the means to function then surely He can handle me.

So thanks to the calves of the world, and here's to getting up and going even when you really don't want to. Because there are sheep, horses and cows waiting!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Healing Power of Glitter

I had a friend once that said if you put on sparkles and you don't fell better- you should be able to sue the glitter company. Because, really, how does looking at sparkles not make you feel better? If it doesn't, then something is wrong with you and my advice is to pile on more sparkles until you are over yourself.

My mother dressed us in masses of rhinestones and glitter and ruffles when we were kids. For years I had a very strong, very real aversion to all things glitter and ruffled. But slowly, I am reacquiring my tastes for them. More so for sparkles than ruffles.

Today I was having an off day and so I did exactly what my besite, AC, taught me and got a manicure over lunch. Mood gone, glitter good! I went for "Bring on the Bling." It scares me a little that this is from OPI's Burlesque collection, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do. Even if Burlesque was quite possibly the WORST move I have seen in years. Sorry Cher.

PS- couldn't get a good pic of my own nails, so I stole this one from someone. You probably noticed.

This glitter love I have has really taken flight of late, and is making my life much more fun. Some other glitter lovelies from my Pinterest page (LOVE Pinterest!)








All hail the healing power of glitter!

Monday, January 9, 2012

So, Maybe I'm Back...

I fell off of the blog wagon. I know; it's true. Here's what happened: I started living my life and got so caught up in enjoying it that I stopped taking the time to write about it! And let's be honest, who really reads this? It's not a blog about fashion or pop culture or weddings- so who cares? Well, I just decided that I did again.

Here is who inspired me:

Her name is Melanie Notkin, and she is the original Savvy Auntie. She realized that there is more in children's lives than just a mom, dad and grandparents. There are others that adore these children, interact with them, and mold their daily lives. Aunties unite!! But what really inspired me to blog again was an article she published in the Huffington Post about how women are defined by marriage and children. It's true; even now in good ole modern 2012. Now, I want marriage and children. Believe me- if someone will just point out where all the sexy, Christian, land-owning cowboys are I will go find me one! But until then, I am making another life for myself. Because I'm not just going to sit around pining for what I don't have when I can live in what I do have. And hear me right- I love my life! 

That being said, I do live quite the different life from most Southern women my age (and even from most Yankee women, I think). I have very few friends who aren't married with kids. Very, very few. And seeing as my best friends are all married, two with kids, and I don't plan on ceasing our friendships because we now have different lives- my life begins to form around those children too. Thus creates Auntie! And I love this Auntie person I have become. She's cool and fun and relaxed and settled! She has found a role she loves, and she's happy in it. But she is also lonely and sad at times. And she struggles to find a balance with being single surrounded by married, parental friends. 

So as I prepare to enter my 30s (in May!) as an unmarried, not even dating, childless Auntie... I think I'll blog about it! And maybe you'll even find it interesting now and again... 

All About Ashley

My photo
Spring, TX, Southern, United States
Playing with and keeping up with my nephew and niece take up a lot of my time. Van Geaux takes up the rest of it. Work is an afterthought most days! I like to be outside- but not when it's too hot. I get bored at my desk all day. Niki keeps my world spinning and without her and AC I'd lose it. My work ethic crashes at 4 p.m. daily and I live my sweet puppy and my hedgehog whenever I am not at Niki's. I truly believe naps are quality pass-time events, and sometimes I say bad words at work. I'm pretty sure I'm insane on multiple levels and I believe rules don't apply to me.
It seems that my life is quite entertaining. I didn't realize this myself, but was informed of it by my friends- who are rather entertained by tales of my life occurrences.

I'm far from a professional writer. These are just stories, comments, and other items for simple amusement. Hopefully it's a fun read, as Shannon plans to edit it into a book one day! Maybe we'll become famous, and maybe we'll just have some good laughs at my expense (and some other characters in my life). Either way, happy reading!















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