General musings on the ups and downs and ins and outs in the life of a 30 something, unmarried, life loving, some times interesting and sometimes not, mostly happy girl just trying to figure it all out!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

He Loves Me

Seeing as the title of this blog is "I'm the Auntie" I decided to make an actual Auntie post. The general gist of this blog is being 30 (almost) and single and what that lifestyle is about (Thus "I'm the Auntie" and not a Mommy blog). It's also about my general need to hash things out- and writing it down helps. But I also happen to completely adore my nieces and nephews. And I believe them to be the most adorable and hilarious children on the planet. It's kind of sad. I can just sit and watch them do whatever for hours.

Nathan and I when he was 2. I take great pride in my responsibility for his love of mud.

So anywhoo... when I was talking to Niki on my drive to work this morning and she told me this story I decided I wanted to share.

The conversation began with, "Nathan is telling stories about you." This stopped me short for a minute because I was thinking he'd finally decided to tell him mom I let him jump off of the sofa onto a mattress on the floor when he isn't allowed to jump on the sofa. Then I remembered I sent her a picture message documenting the naughty event, so I let that thought go. Then I assumed I was going to get a story about how the last time I babysat I refused to let him play his video game because he didn't eat his supper. I got this idea because when I told him no for the umpteenth time he could not play and to go sit DOWN, he told me he was telling his Mommy what I did to him.

My actual response: "OK, Nathan. You can do that. But until she gets home I make the decisions."

Response I wanted to use: "That will be fine, Nathan, because she is MY best friend and she is obliged by law to agree with me and support my video game wielding authority."

But the actual story she told me was much better. Apparently, he has taken to telling her stories about me. I find this adorable- the child is interjecting me into his real and pretend life! The fact that the stories have no truth to them means nothing, because in each story I am arriving to save him, ie- Mommy, I was walking in the woods and I hit my head on a tree, but Auntie came and made it all OK." Priceless. This is in addition to a few weeks ago when he told his friend that when his AUNTIE comes over he gets to ride his bike.

That's right, folks, I am cool in the eyes of a four year old. I am ingrained in his world and he loves it. Sometimes, that's really all you need in the world.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

30 Things Before 30

Have you seen this list before? I have. It travels the internet in spurts, circulating itself through women's in boxes. But now that I am actually a month from being 30... I paid a little more attention. Being 30 doesn't bother me too much. My 20s have been an up and down roller coaster ride. I have learned a lot, grown a lot, changed a lot (was I really that 20 year old college student once???). I have made my share of mistakes and I hope I am better for them. 

Of course, there are a lot of things I wish were different- and that I thought would surely be different by the time I was 30. I am certainly not where I expected to be. But something I have learned is that you have to go with what you've got and enjoy where you are. So here I am, looking down the barrel of 30, a little scared and mostly ready, and I thought I'd review this list and see where I stand. (My comments in green) 

By 30, you should have ...
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. Oh boy, let me tell you- I haven't had many boyfriends and there isn't one I would go back to! Are you joking? They certainly (all two of them...) taught me a lot about myself. But they all fall in the category of how far I have come. And really- why would you want to go back? 
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. I have a few of these- and I love them!
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. Let's be honest, girls. We all have some great outfits set aside, but we would change clothes 10 times regardless! True, though, you need some good, solid pieces to rely on. 
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. Yes- this is true. You are an adult now. 
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. Well, I am squarely in THIS category! 
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. I think I have this in a fun, safe way. I have a few stories to tell. 
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it. Not just the money, girls, but a plan for your health and taking care of yourself. It's time to step up and realize that your body needs care and you can't just abuse it. Financially, I agree as well. A woman needs to know she can take care of herself. 
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you. Yes- privacy, please! 
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded. Oh come on- who doesn't pad their resume? Mine is strong and I still pad! 
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. My friends are my stronghold! 
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra. Do I have to know how to use them too? 
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. Oh, let's think... a house, a car, laptop, iPod, move to Texas... 
13. The belief that you deserve it. I waver on this one. I'm not good enough to deserve much, but I do work for my money. So yeah...
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. YES! Get on it, ladies. 
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better. Oh boy, do I struggle here. I do have a great start. Just don't know where I want it to go. 

By 30, you should know ...
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. Well, I'd like to find out! :) I think I do. 
2. How you feel about having kids. Definitely want them. 
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. Tact, my friends.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away. A tough lesson, but worth learning. 
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next. Hmm... 
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town. Hilary Clinton, "Goo," and I guess I better work on the third since I just asked my best friend to fix a dress for me! 
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. Amen! It isn't always fun, but learning to be content with yourself and take care of yourself is something every woman should grasp. 
8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing. Best friend, hands down. 
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents. Yes. Awfully hard, but yes. 
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. Let it go!
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. Have boundaries and know who you are. 
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long. This is kind of a crock. Some people do. 
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally. Yes, learn to be careful. 
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. And how to apologize when something is. 
15. Why they say life begins at 30. I'm hoping it's a combo of the list above: confidence in yourself, a more firm ground to stand on, amazing friends, and faith
So here I come 30... ready or not I am arriving. I guess we'll see how it goes! 

Monday, April 23, 2012

1000 Gifts

A few more for my list...

21. The ability to pay the bills.
22. Water!
23. Birds chirping
24. Ice cream cones
25. Sleeping in
26. Bathing a horse
27. Being a friend
28. Nieces and Nephews
29. Spring rain showers
30. New flowers sprouting! 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

What's A Girl To Do...

Am I the only one who looks at their life sometimes and just thinks, "WTF???" I love my life- I actually think I have a pretty cool life. I am an Auntie, which is the greatest role there is. I live 10 minutes from my best friend, have some completely fun new girls to hang out with, own my car, pay my bills, can afford enough wine... what's to complain about? Nothing. Except I do. Because I feel like my life is totally cool for a 25 year old. But I am a month away from 30 and I am not married, living happily on a little farm with a part time job I love and a garden and maybe some goats and a cow. I have a ton of fun, but I spend a lot of my days working full time at a job I am just OK with. But I am single with no prospects- a girl has to plan! I can't just assume someone is going to come along for me to share my life with. I have to be able to take care of myself. So I work on building a career when I don't really want a career. What's a girl to do? I'm not sure. And I have been discussing it with my new friends who are in the same boat - and they don't really know either.

Isn't it funny how "women have come so far," and we still discuss the same things? Everyone fits into the mold a little differently, but at the end of the day we are still women. And in some way we are still trying to figure out what the heck that means... that we can have an awesome career but don't have to... if we do have a career and no husband we're a b-word... if we don't have kids we're not maternal... that a career and a family can work... or it can't... that we shouldn't have it all... or that we should... that we can take care of ourselves, thank you very much... but that we don't always want to have to. We aren't forced into a certain role anymore (at least not most of the time), but that role is still there. We still have to look at it. And when you look at it you wonder if you would fit, or if you should, or if you most certainly should not.

And men think we're confusing! Try being us, buddy!

After all that rambling my conclusion is simply that I do not know. We each have to do our best and find a place we can be content with right now. Plan and hope for later, but enjoy now. Don't waste too much time fretting about what may or may not be. Good luck!

Monday, April 16, 2012

1000 Gifts

I just realized that I am going to have to be careful about duplicating these. I tend to be overly grateful for my friends. :) I had a busy, but great weekend! It was Van's birthday and yes, we celebrated. Cheesy, I know. I took her for a long swim and then Nathan took her out for ice cream. After that Amanda and I went and had so many crawfish and so much beer that my stomach thinks I'm evil today. Totally worth it!

I have been thinking about my list. Here are some more:

11. Ice Cream
12. Sisters
13. Spicy crawfish!
14. Breezy days by the lake
15. Wildflowers growing along the side of the road.
16. Naps
17. The feel of running your fingers through a clean horse tail.
18. Sunshine
19. Windburned cheeks from playing outdoors
20. Clean laundry

Thursday, April 12, 2012

1000 Gifts

Life has been a little rough for me the past few weeks. Nothing life or death, but just one thing after another to deal with. I'm tired of "handling" things. It gets exhausting. I am worn out. And when I am worn out, my brain tends to grab onto things and beat them to death. I just can't stop thinking and being distracted. I think it over, think it over, think it over... hoping I can come up with a way to set things right again.  But guess what? That's not how life works. I love the author, Sheila Walsh. In one of her books she says that sometimes all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and let God fight the battles. So true.

To get through the tough times I try to remember the little, everyday things that are blessings. My life is full of blessings! They are like little presents that drop in to remind me life is OK. So when I saw Sarah Tucker's post about recording 1,000 bgifts during 2012 I wanted to play too.  So getting started, here are a few of mine, to be added to over the year.

Nathan Alan Kickel
1. Nathan talking about his Star Wars game and saying "Auntie" and meaning me. He thinks I am Princess Lea. 
2. Van's "opera song" greeting when I get home every day
3. The smell of fresh cut grass
4. A great glass of wine
5. Books
6. The smell of a horse
7. Laughter with friends
8. Ducks in a pond
9. My Daddy's voice on the phone
10. The fact that I have constant, unfailing support from my best friends

All About Ashley

My photo
Spring, TX, Southern, United States
Playing with and keeping up with my nephew and niece take up a lot of my time. Van Geaux takes up the rest of it. Work is an afterthought most days! I like to be outside- but not when it's too hot. I get bored at my desk all day. Niki keeps my world spinning and without her and AC I'd lose it. My work ethic crashes at 4 p.m. daily and I live my sweet puppy and my hedgehog whenever I am not at Niki's. I truly believe naps are quality pass-time events, and sometimes I say bad words at work. I'm pretty sure I'm insane on multiple levels and I believe rules don't apply to me.
It seems that my life is quite entertaining. I didn't realize this myself, but was informed of it by my friends- who are rather entertained by tales of my life occurrences.

I'm far from a professional writer. These are just stories, comments, and other items for simple amusement. Hopefully it's a fun read, as Shannon plans to edit it into a book one day! Maybe we'll become famous, and maybe we'll just have some good laughs at my expense (and some other characters in my life). Either way, happy reading!