Interpretation: We will allow you to bring your children into this establishment so that you will sit and drink our beer and listen to our horrible band. However, we will not tolerate them singing karaoke after 8pm. That is just asking too much.
OK, so back to the real story. In an effort to make new friends that are above the age of three in this new town I find myself in, I followed some advice (Shannon) and joined a Meet Up Group online. The first group I joined, I went to two events. The first one was pretty okay. By the second one I found out that no one in the group was above the age of 25 and they were all teachers or in school. There is nothing wrong with this aside from a different lifestyle and their planning all events mid-day during the week. So I was duly disappointed and joined a second.
Saturday night I showered and got dressed and took myself down the street to a neighborhood bar and grill for my second Meet Up Group. So I walk up and ... you know... I could just tell they weren't my people. Judgmental as this sounds (and it totally sounds judgmental) they seemed a bit trashy. Turns out my instincts were correct. I sat down and engaged in small talk with the people around me and chatted some. The girl across from me spilled her water cup with HER elbow and proceeded to tell the waitress I had spilled it. I think she was maybe joking, but it didn't come out that way. It came out that I had reached across the table and poured out her water. Said water spillage started a conversation which revealed that the older lady next to water girl (it's a meet up group for 35 and under- so this was a bit suspicious) was her mother, who she had brought along. OK. Both water girl and water girl mama proceed to reveal the following startling facts, to a complete stranger, no less:
Water girl is just barely 21 and pregnant. This isn't so bad in of itself, really. But she proceeds to reveal that this is her second child, the first of which she conceived while working at Hooters at the ripe old age of 18. Umm... did I move to Alabama instead of Texas by accident? It gets better- she also has no earthly idea who baby #1's father is because she was in a drunken stupor at Hooters and slept with multiple people and woke up pregnant. I began to wonder just WHERE her mother was until I realized she was right next to her. Also revealed is the fabulous fact that she is completely unemployed and lives off of the husband she found somewhere in between baby #1 and now. She openly owes up to sleeping all day unless she has to feed baby#1. Well, OK then...
This is all true, I swear!
So you see, people, I will no longer be making friends through online sources. I tried it. And I am so very glad it works for some people. But after this- can you even imagine what would happen if I tried online dating?