Sunday Morning Thoughts...

I'm spending my first quiet morning in my apartment- which is nearly unpacked and ready for pics, by the way. It's wonderful and scary and perfect all at the same time. A few random thoughts whirling through my mind...

This is my new true love (right after Van):

I found this gem in a closet at AC's house when we were packing her things and I stole/was gifted it. It's a wedding gift they never used, because she doesn't drink coffee. Well, I do and this thing makes GREAT coffee! Plus there's little to wash because there's no carafe. In love.

There is nothing in the world like having a huge bathtub. Nothing. I have one now- I will never be able to go back. "There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know any of them." - Sylvie Plath.

Amen, Sista! I spent an hour in mine last night.

I am exhausted. Emotionally and physically. More so emotionally. So, change is hard! I'm loving it and petrified of it at the same time. How weird is it that I left something that was stifling me and I almost wish I was still safely there. That's not weird, it's demented. I think starting the new job and having a new "purpose" will be very good. I do well with something to throw myself into.

Living alone (which, by the way, I love) is reminding me that I am nearly 30 and alone. Even in 2011, there is still a feeling of "I'm getting old and I'm alone..." What up- Women's Lib??? Weren't you supposed to get rid of these emotions? I'm actually looking forward to 30. They say a woman's 30s are her glory years. And I really won't miss my 20s. They were a bit traumatic. But... it still is a little hard to have to carry everything yourself and not have someone to lean on. Plus- I worry because I have this mental block with "just having fun with a guy." I can't do it. I get attached too quickly. As in, right away. For example, I met a guy right before I left P'cola (thank you, timing, for that one), cuddled with him a bit (as in just cuddled, nothing more) and it's killing me. Can we say irrational hang up?

I was at the doctor last Friday and contemplating too many things while checking out. The lady had Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope, and a future.) posted at her desk. How cool is God? He has laid everything I have prayed for in my lap and I am having a bit of a freak out. Instead of being mad, he gives me a Bible verse... in the middle of a doctor's office. I JUST LOVE GOD!!!

I have a ridiculous number of books. I don't have enough places to put them. And the other day, I bought more! Is there a term for book addiction? Because I have it. I should have rented a library, not an apartment.

Don't think I'm regretting or am unhappy! I'm in my bliss, actually. Niki is here! I have seen her EVERY day for a week! There is nothing better. As you know- my best friend is my peace and my happy place. She is God's amazing blessing in my life and every time I see her every single worry flies out the window. That, and Nathan looked at me the other day and declared, "I DO love you, Auntie!"

I'm in Heaven!

Whew!

When it rains, it pours... right?
Yep, exactly right!

What should have been two weeks of packing and rejoicing has turned into two weeks of little sleep, drama, stress and wine for coping. Sally's hip replacement went well. But none of us imagined how difficult the recovery would be. We've been fighting our way through quite a lot of pain and tears. It's a nightly event to get through with the pain meds, Sal being pissed about the pain, and a bunch of general craziness.

Then comes... a new friend. Hmm... that makes it hurt to leave. Short version: I don't handle things like this well. I can't start something I won't finish. It's hard for me.

Also- my nephew is in Boston Children's Hospital due to fluid in his lungs. And I've been sick.

Yesterday I had a wrap-up doctor visit before I leave. Turns out my heart murmur may be acting up and I need to see a cardiologist. It's doubtful that it's anything serious. But just one more thing. And with me- after losing about 2 years of my life to medical drama any little thing pushes me over the edge.

Then on to U Haul loading. But the U Haul wasn't ready, of course. So we had an hour to load up. We made it!

Last night we ended up with an emergency trip to the ER (of the ambulance, paramedic, fire department type). Sal had a reaction to one of her meds and her tongue was swollen to the point she was having difficulty breathing. That began at 1am and ended at 5. She's home now, and supposedly OK.

So the saying is true, when it rains it pours.

I have been calling AC and Niki almost constantly in various states of panic. Thankfully I have friends with the ability to remind me who I am, what I need, and why I am doing the things I am. I love that when I call Niki she can tell me what to do and why because she knows me so well. Quote of the day: "There are plenty of single cowboys in Texas!!" And poor AC- I think she will probably be glad when I take my drama and go!

This is the loaded U Haul yesterday, and my sweet Daddy-o pretending to be my knight in shining armor with a BBQ grill lid.

I grew up fishing with Daddy. I aaaaaalways got stuck on the bottom. I would think it was a fish and get all pumped and then be crushed. And then, I got so used to being stuck that I would just hand the pole over regardless. Turns out, about half the time it would actually be a fish! Over time these childhood incidences turned into a life lesson from Daddy:

"Life can be difficult, but step out and try again and again. Sometimes when you're stuck on the bottom, it might be a big fish."

Here's a prayer of thankfulness for friends and family, for new friends and old, for cowboys, for nephews and nieces, for help stepping out of your box, for friends that know you better than you do yourself, and for a God big enough and wonderful enough to bring us together.

I'm off!!