I Hate Bugs

My nephew always tells me, "Auntie, we don't say hate!" when I say that I hate things. And you know, he's right. Hate is a very overused word. (Of course, his mother taught him this phrase when he informed her that he hated her after watching Mad Madam Mim on The Sword in the Stone. He has no idea what the word actually means.) But let me just tell you- I really, truly do hate stomach bugs!!

I spent the entirety of Friday evening after about 9:30pm and all of Saturday morning on the floor of my bathroom crying and writhing in pain. It was horrid. Saturday I felt like crap and slept all day due to the lost sleep on Friday night/Saturday morning. Sunday I recovered. I will spare you the details, but it was awful. Luckily for you, hedgehog antics combined with lying prone on the floor combines for a nice story. Thus, the weekend was not a total loss... at least not for you.

I was unaware that hedgehogs hid things. Then again, I was unaware of most things about hedgehogs when I adopted Little Brown Noser. A few times when I get up to use the bathroom at night (she is currently roaming freely in the apartment. I can't find her a large enough cage that I can afford and feel too guilty keeping her in the Tupperware container. That's another story entirely) I hear her fiddling with things in the apartment, and now and then I'll find my work bag drug across the apartment. But I never really thought much of it. I heard they like to get in bags, so I figured that's all it was.

Well, Saturday morning when I was lying flat on the floor (in my living room this time, trying to at least watch some TV) I noticed a bright pink bag under my TV. I made a mental note, but didn't move because movement wasn't an option at the time. Sunday, I finally got around to getting the bag out. It was a birthday gift I bought at the rodeo a month ago for a friend. I thought I'd lost it. I looked everywhere in the apartment and my car. I spent about 3 days looking. Finally, I figured I must have left it on the bench at the rodeo while consuming a baked potato the size of my head. Turns out, Little Brown Noser actually stole it and hid it away somewhere. But here's the clincher- I moved the TV cabinet and cleaned under it last weekend. So it wasn't there then. It also wasn't under the sofa because I cleaned there. And I moved the coffee table. And I looked for the bag under my bed weeks ago. That covers all the furniture where she could have hidden it. So I have no idea where this pink bag has been for a month, but it's here now. And thankfully in time to mail the gift. Ironic twist: the gift is for her former father. So she either got over her ill will at being adopted out or was holding it for his birthday.

That, my dears, was the highlight of my weekend. Anyone know hedgehogs were hoarders?

And don't tell Nathan, but I truly do hate stomach bugs!