Just Give Me the Farm and No One Gets Hurt

I spent Saturday morning at Wellman Farms and it was glorious! Katie trained under Sharon when she was in college and hooked me up. It just so happens that Sharon is a world champion trainer and rider under multiple horse associations, so I got to meet and hang out with a horse-world celebrity as well. Not a bad day.

Also got to meet this horse his rider. They also happen to be world champs- pretty sure I get to be a little famous just for knowing them!

The bad side? It just made me crave my own farm life even more! Days at the barns, bathing horses, watching them graze, cows, chickens, puppies... I WANT! I like working and all, but I'd really rather just wake up to my farm- maybe work from home. Enjoy the view of my animals out the window. Ride in the afternoons... 

Seriously- someone get me out of this world I was mistakenly placed in and take me to my farm! 

Thanks for the Memories

OK, wow. I was looking through some old photos and, ladies and gentleman, I have some crazy friends! I have really had some fun, although stage, times. See below.

Niki and I with sparklers

T Hamm as a pirate.

Yeah, this is Katelyn and I ...and...yeah

AC and Sadie street dancing

That guy on the right? Katelyn's husband. Explanation over.

Theresa as the Navy Pelican (she's in my crazy pictures a lot because we do lots of retarded things together. It's our deal.)

See? Here she is with a stripper dog

Shannon with an ice cube

Katelyn and I at a wrestling match

Adria and Jess on Bourbon Street

And then there are those friends which I am related to...

Amanda and I in Helen Georgia (she's grabbing my boob)

Katie and Amanda. No idea.

This is a Kid Friendly Bar + Why I Will No Longer Look for Friends Online

This is a dual purpose post. It was a single purpose post forming in my mind at a restaurant/bar/total dive I went to on Saturday until I saw this sign and felt the need to share it:

Interpretation: We will allow you to bring your children into this establishment so that you will sit and drink our beer and listen to our horrible band. However, we will not tolerate them singing karaoke after 8pm. That is just asking too much.

OK, so back to the real story. In an effort to make new friends that are above the age of three in this new town I find myself in, I followed some advice (Shannon) and joined a Meet Up Group online. The first group I joined, I went to two events. The first one was pretty okay. By the second one I found out that no one in the group was above the age of 25 and they were all teachers or in school. There is nothing wrong with this aside from a different lifestyle and their planning all events mid-day during the week. So I was duly disappointed and joined a second. 

Saturday night I showered and got dressed and took myself down the street to a neighborhood bar and grill for my second Meet Up Group. So I walk up and ... you know... I could just tell they weren't my people. Judgmental as this sounds (and it totally sounds judgmental) they seemed a bit trashy. Turns out my instincts were correct. I sat down and engaged in small talk with the people around me and chatted some. The girl across from me spilled her water cup with HER elbow and proceeded to tell the waitress I had spilled it. I think she was maybe joking, but it didn't come out that way. It came out that I had reached across the table and poured out her water. Said water spillage started a conversation which revealed that the older lady next to water girl (it's a meet up group for 35 and under- so this was a bit suspicious) was her mother, who she had brought along. OK. Both water girl and water girl mama proceed to reveal the following startling facts, to a complete stranger, no less:

Water girl is just barely 21 and pregnant. This isn't so bad in of itself, really. But she proceeds to reveal that this is her second child, the first of which she conceived while working at Hooters at the ripe old age of 18. Umm... did I move to Alabama instead of Texas by accident? It gets better- she also has no earthly idea who baby #1's father is because she was in a drunken stupor at Hooters and slept with multiple people and woke up pregnant. I began to wonder just WHERE her mother was until I realized she was right next to her. Also revealed is the fabulous fact that she is completely unemployed and lives off of the husband she found somewhere in between baby #1 and now. She openly owes up to sleeping all day unless she has to feed baby#1. Well, OK then...

This is all true, I swear! 

So you see, people, I will no longer be making friends through online sources. I tried it. And I am so very glad it works for some people. But after this- can you even imagine what would happen if I tried online dating? 

New Beginnings

It's back to school today in Texas. The kids are headed back to a new year, new classes, new teachers... and new backpacks! Check this out:

Nate participated in the Blessing of the Backpacks at church yesterday because he's starting preschool this year. He isn't actually starting today- he goes in September. And it's only 2 days a week. But still, it's a big deal. And he was just so freaking adorable running down the isle at church to stand with all the big kids! I'm sorry- but my nephew is exceptionally cute folks.

Yesterday's church service was a youth service- led by the church's youth group. I won't lie, I was dreading it a little. And I totally started off with the attitude of "what do they really know about life?" But I realized as I was praying along for good school years- there is a lot of trauma and stress and emotion on kids. It's HARD being a kid sometimes! Just because their lives are not as far along means nothing- they have their burdens and their issues to handle. I remember how traumatized and hurt I was in middle and high school and so I truly prayed for school years free of bullying and hurt. 

On another note, my sweet AC starts a new job today!! 

Not to compare her to a school kid (she actually liked high school, so it wouldn't even apply)- but she IS leaving a job where she was belittled and bullied. So this is a great new start for her. It's been so much fun to watch God bless her life. More to come!!!

Good luck today, Ash! 

Stay Close to the Food

Oh wow, I fell right of the Blogger Wagon, didn't I? No blog post since last Friday! Oops. It wasn't intentional. It's just that Niki, Jade and the kids have been gone and it's too freaking hot to go outside. So I have basically worked out and read. Not so blog worthy.

Good news- Niki is back! And with her came Lorelei and Nathan. So my life is once again amusing.

Take this photo, for example. If you open the fridge for more than 5 seconds, Lorelei pushes past you and sits. I thought it was hilarious and took a photo. Turns out, upon further contemplation, it's GENIUS! Because the thing is, Lorelei always wants to eat. This keeps her strategically located near the source of food as well as in the coolest place in the house. Huh. 17 months old and she's way ahead of the rest of us. 

Friday's Facts

You know I had to do this! And seeing as I stole it from Christina at Hungry Meets Healthy I feel justified.

1. Name 3 things you are looking forward to:

1. Seeing The Help tonight. Beside myself with excitement!
2. Cooler weather so I can go outside
3. Riding horses again (KATIE!! :)) 

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?

Wow, no pressure there. I'd have to go with a farm of my own with Van, a cow, some horses, chickens, a duck and a pig.

3. You have $200.  You have to spend it on yourself, you can’t donate it, and it can’t be something you actually need.  What will it be?

A day long trip to a spa!

4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

Elizabeth Nicole Kickel and her kids.

5. What is your bedtime routine?

Wash my face, brush my teeth, read my devotion book then bible, cuddle with Van, fall asleep. If I haven't been at Niki's the whole thing starts with a bubble bath and a glass of wine.

6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other?

I met her in college on the street in front of the Kappa Alpha Theta house. :) WHAT? My life revolves around Niki these days- she's obviously my significant other. 

7. What kind of books do you read?

Novels, Biographies... anything I can get my hands on that isn't sci-fi. 

8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?

That's hard to know. But HOPEFULLY, married with some kids living on the above mentioned farm.

9. What’s your fear?

Heights and failure and my freaking hormones!

10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?

Not just no, but hell no!

11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Make coffee!

12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?

I would make him exist. Or, if you're referring to Niki- nothing. 

13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

I don't think i would. But if I HAD to I would go by my middle name: Lane.

14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?

Normally I would say sun. But after 5 months of next to no rain... I'm not sure. 

15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

That would be torture. Umm... I don't even know. Seafood?

16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?

The ridiculous events in my life. You can't make this stuff up!

17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?

This question should be outlawed because you MUST have both. 

18. What items are in your purse right now?

Oh my... 

Wallet, makeup bag, wet wipes, digital camera, 3 to 4 sticky notes of to do and shopping lists, keys (2 sets), sunglasses, gum, business card case, change purse, lip gloss, chap stick, eye drops. Aleve, a book.

19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?

Mountains!!!

20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn't?

I don't watch anything bad! 

Bedroom Design - Suggestions Accepted

I spent most of last weekend rearranging my bedroom. I wasn't a fan of the layout. 

The bed placement was OK, but I couldn't stand walking into the dresser! Unfortunately, the TV has to be where it is- right in the door. And that's where I watch the news while I get dressed in the morning, so it's a must.

I moved the bed and moved the dresser back and forth between two places about four times. Van was annoyed.

This is her annoyed face. She likes to help while I rearrange because she wants things a certain way. She has to be able to find an appropriate spot to lay down where she can watch the goings-on. So if I put something where she doesn't like it she stares at the piece of furniture until I move it. Seriously. But I was wreaking so much havoc in the bedroom she huffed and moved to her bed. 

First place I put the dresser. Big no. The real problem here is that my furniture is too large for the room. And yes, Van just watched me move furniture from one place to another from her new favorite perch once the bed was settled and she could find her way into the room again. (Please note that she can properly keep an eye on me while I am cooking from the bed now. This is good.)

New arrangement. Sorry it's dark- I should have opened the blinds. It's not perfect, but it's better.

Where the dresser lives now. I'm not a fan, but it's best case scenario right now. 

I absolutely hate cords and wires. So I used the ridiculous amount of books I own to cover the wires behind the TV.

So there's what I have for now. But there's plenty of time for moving things around this weekend. I like this better, but I'm not in love with it. Any suggestions??

Business Western

Yesterday I received an invitation to an Advertising Federation event recognizing a member. I officially know that I have moved to Texas because the dress for the event is listed as "Business Western." Don't believe me? See for yourself:

I have no idea what "Business Western" means. The business end of a Colt Revolver? A white button down, jeans and boots? I queried my friend, Jade, who has been working in the Houston community for 6 years. He had no idea what it meant either. So I turned to trusty Google and found these images:

This actually makes sense. 

Apparently this is a perfectly appropriate lawyer's business card. OK. 

grizzly Adams is coming?

I can not even explain this

Will and Kate are Business Western!

I'm actually not going to this event- but part of me wants to just to check out people's attire! On the other hand, I'm too afraid to attend as well. 

Really, I just don't want to drive an hour to listen to people bragging on someone. So there you go. 

:)

I just love this song!

My Girl Crush Obsession

OK, so let me just go ahead and admit something:

I have a MAJOR girl crush on Sadiekins (Sadiekins = Sarah Tucker). Last night I was thinking how funny it was that I consider us buddies and have created my own nickname for her. See, she is BFF with my BFF (AC), and I have actually met her in person three times, so I think that makes us BFF-in-laws. But it's way easier to say girl-crush and that's what it really is.

I was scoping out my other obsession (Pinterest) last night and looking at an outfit pin she put up and I thought- I really just want her to dress me. Here is why...

Actual Sadiekins Outfits:

I might love this one a little extra because she has a bottle of wine in her hand and  also I have a blazer fetish. 

Outfits Sadikins likes:

Actual Sadikins outfit she was wearing when I met her:

Why yes, that IS a Hooters to-go box she's dancing with and NO, we never actually ate at hooters that night.

My Sadikins inspired outfit (which I will be wearing tonight):

So, dear internet friends that don't even know me, please indulge this obsession. (AC, you must indulge it too) It's slightly weird and odd, I know this. But girl-crushing on the sweet, incomparable Sarah Tucker just makes me feel better about the world. Actually- you should think of taking up Sadie-worship too. 

Counting Down!

It's almost time... it's almost here! FOOTBALL SEASON! I can't wait. I live for football season. This year I'll be at the LSU season opener in Dallas against the Oregon Ducks. 


Why yes, I HAVE always loved football. I was raised in the South. And not only in the South, but in the Southeastern Conference. We hold the national title for the last three years. We're basically amazing.  And you know what they say; In the South we have out own four seasons:

Warm...Hot... Football Season...Christmas

Are you ready? Do you adore football? Who is your team- I'll pull for you!